The Relationship Guru

The Death of Love

What is a heart, but something to be broken, a catalyst with no purpose, a leaf that blows relentlessly in the wind. Today’s perception of what a relationship should be like and what it actually is, are two totally different things. A man’s idea and a woman’s idea of a relationship both have very strong foundations and both of these ideas should be the basis of any solid relationship, but at present, these ideas are seen at 90 degree angles, meaning they run into each other, instead of running parallel and complementing each other’s strength.

Let’s look at the man’s perspective. A man wants to feel secure that the woman he is with, believes in him, that the task he sets forth to accomplish; his woman has faith in his choices and does not doubt his worthiness as a positive provider to the relationship. This does not mean necessarily the dominant financial provider of the relationship, but simply that the woman will focus on the strong character points of her man instead of exploring his deficiencies, that she will seek to uplift his character, so that his deficiencies will follow. This is how a man interprets being a positive provider. By focusing on his strengths, you give him positive reinforcement toward his objectives, and because the woman he is with has faith in him, he fills her faith, and it becomes an integral part of his being. Suddenly, the man feels a sense of urgency, but in a positive manner. You have just painted butterflies and you make his heart patter. He in turn realizes the monument that graces his side. He realizes this monument reinforces his strength to climb that mountain of obstacles, that with her by his side, he can conquer the world. With this in mind, the man will do what is reasonable in compromise for a woman, to keep the relationship blossoming.

The strength of a woman’s character is amplified, as she asserts her individuality; however, a man looks at faith and individuality as derivatives of the same foundation, that foundation being the key to any venture or worthiness that he may have. As this man sees this reflection of himself in you, it seems quite logical to the man to keep this reflection as an intricate part of his life. If a man is truly the master of his own destiny, then it would be most prudent on the man’s behalf, to keep smelling the rose by his side. This means the man must communicate with his woman as he is her man, to understand her needs and provide pleasure for her desires, so that he can unselfishly continue to reap the benefits of his rose, and bring their angles to a parallel.

A woman on the other hand, wants the man to be the harp in which she can play her music. When a woman expresses her passion, she wants her man to absorb her intensity on a parallel that she can envelop and allow her to feed her emotions. A woman needs to see contrast in a man’s mountain. She needs to know that she can climb his mountain, and be equal partners in a relationship of one, that success is mutual in the core of their unity, and that he is aware and respects her contributions as a vital aspect of their union. By shining light on his shade, a woman confirms that her presence satisfies his needs and that she is an individual that is part of a composite; a power that chose union, a power that can accomplish her own merits. And all this is confirmed, by the man’s recognition and acceptance of her feelings.

The strength of a man’s character is magnified by his versatility and his ability to accept other resolutions to challenges. By versatility, it is meant that the man maintains an objective view in reaching a conclusion, and it is meant by his ability to accept other resolutions that he is aware his solutions may not always be the best choice. By the man allowing these factors to pour from him, the woman sees the chords of his vessel in which to make beautiful music.

Despite the obvious instructions to get to Oz, today we are confronted with a sign in the road that send men and women down roads of isolation. The reason for this sign results from an evolution of focus. This focus translates into material needs and interest solely in oneself. Yes, love dies. We have evolved from agape into a love that is not really love. Love now means, how can one obtain maximum profit for oneself or how can one mold a person into the vessel of one’s success?

The obvious error here is the omission of individuality from a relationship. A failure is here that does not recognize that two individuals have come together to complement, that these two people are still individual thinkers. Relationships of today do not realize that the mold of their significant other has been broken long before “the accident at the intersection.” There isn’t anything to change. Instead, we live a bad drama and we make our partners the star. Because we are conditioned to think that things are suppose to change in a relationship, we are doomed for inevitable separation. It is always a good idea to keep in mind that we fell in love with who we met, not who they could be, but because we do not, our relationships are no more, and never were.

By: Everyone Calls Me Johnny